The Children In Assassin's Creed Valhalla Are Terrifying

Assassin’s Creed Valhalla offers a stunning open-world for players to live out those Viking fantasies in. It even houses some pretty stellar references, including a Dungeons & Dragons game. That being said, there is one aspect that is far from beauty and grace, and it’s these children that OH MY […]

Assassin’s Creed Valhalla offers a stunning open-world for players to live out those Viking fantasies in. It even houses some pretty stellar references, including a Dungeons & Dragons game. That being said, there is one aspect that is far from beauty and grace, and it’s these children that OH MY GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEIR FACE?! 

Look, we’re not here to judge. All children are beautiful in the eyes of yada yada yada, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say that these kids have officially out-uglied the boat people of Marvel’s Spider-Man when it first launched on the PS4. 

One Reddit user made a horrifying compilation showing off some of the best (?) of the best (again, ?) and really, this is not the content we should be sharing with you but we’re doing it anyway. Sorry: 

Reddit @KrutToppen

Some of them aren’t that bad, but the one in the middle looks like it’s trying to suck my soul out through my monitor and I’m not OK with that. The one of the bottom left looks like he’s seen some things and the feller mid-left looks like he should be a fully grown shopkeeper, not a young child. 

The good news is that they’re tiny, so you can just…overlook them. Or, you can make another compilation, because who needs sleep? 

In all fairness, there is so much in Valhalla to enjoy and the kids of this world aren’t really a focus. With so many other things to enjoy, this nightmare fuel is a small price to pay to be the Viking you were always meant to be. 

Interested in learning more about Assassin’s Creed Valhalla, including how to get Thor’s armor? Check out our game hub here to learn more about Ubisoft’s latest adventure. 

Also, please don’t take this article too seriously. It’s early, we’ve been tanking way more time into this game than is probably wise, and it gave us a good chuckle. 

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